Welcome to my jaded world of work, office and the corporate world. Having spent the past 16 years working in manufacturing for a large company, I worked my way up through the ranks to the "semi-executive" plateau where the grass is not really greener (okay, the money is), but just has a whole bunch of weird shades. Everyone talks differently and eventually you get sucked into the world of Corporate-speak and think. Well, "Work Redefined" is my outlet.I find myself sitting on conference calls or in meetings and can't help but turn terms and phrases into something much more entertaining; entertaining for myself and hopefully for others who have the same reservations and/or disgust for what they hear on a daily basis. It kind of resembles thoughts from Dilbert and The Office, but my own personal twist.Yes, I'm part of the evil, but I keep pushing against it in an effort to not become fully absorbed in it all. I've put some of my thoughts on shirts, hats and things that you can see on Cafe Press under Work Redefined. I'll post some of the tantalizing tidbits on my blog for your pleasure, pain or entertainment.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Dawn of Committees

I was reading the funnies this morning (about the only thing I can stand in the paper any more) and read Non Sequitur. Made me wonder what it really must have been like when the first committees were formed in the corporate world.

Here's what I downloaded from a site that showed Non Sequitur among others.

I would imagine it went something like this: The King (CEO) thinks aloud, "We need a quick response to the potential impending doom that confronts us. Now, I don't want to take the fall if I decide poorly, yet certainly want to be able to tag on my good name if we do well. I know, let's get a group together; unsuspecting souls that could save us from ourselves unless we need them to die for the greater good. I'll choose from the brightest I have (good help is so hard to find) and tell them its all on their shoulders. Man, I am good. I am the King."

"I need some volunteers to go help us to emerge victorious! Its a safe assignment and can bring your name to the forefront. You'll live forever in Infamy." They could not see that he capitalized "Infamy" because he was talking, not writing. Little did they know that Infamy was the small village far, far away from the castle, that none could find, never, never, ever.

I'm sure the first order of business was to brainstorm and create an acronym (only done by those that could almost spell, read and write). No true committee could function without a name, so . . .

What is this committee really about? We need quick action, so "Speed" is an obvious choice. Our direction must be foremost also, so "Purpose" will be our second word of definition. A driving "Intention" will lead us forward and in case anyone stands in our way, "Trepidation" will round out our committee's axiom. Yes folks, we are now all powerful, brilliant and ready to take on the evils that surrounds us. We are S.P.I.T.

What is next? A slogan of course. This could be tougher for the committee so they embarked on the mission of finding a good marketing firm. Time passed until one day the King coughed up some of the royal jewelry and behold, the marketers appeared. A simple slogan was birthed, "We are SPIT, we are the shit." Poetic and on purpose.

Nearly a month had passed to get to this point, but by all that was holy, they were ready to begin their task, although by this time, none could remember what the original issue was. The evil that stood before them had become victorious, but the King had come out unscathed. Was the entire committee to live out their days in Infamy?

Being the brilliant group that had been hand picked by the King, they came up with an alternative solution to their own demise and shame. They created the first sub-committee. And all lived happily ever after - save the lowly naves.

Oh, and the first Acronym-Graphic was born.

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